confession

i have never thanked anyone for the add.

your intermission screen saver

My mom and I were driving to Florida when we saw this cow in a swamp on the side of the highway.

hiatus

this blog was created so i’d have a place to put all the weird stuff i think about all day.  i am not giving it the daily love it needs, what with my 2 jobs and life that is out of control. i don’t think of funny things anymore, it’s just not one of those times in life. so it seems fair to say the Don’t Cuss blog is on hiatus until life is funny again. feel free to harass me about that.

aah yes

Like a paradox of things that can be other things, so are the days of our lives.

news: auburn loses to the team most likely to wink at your dad

what i learned today

Screw prayer. God Answers E-mails.

nothings funny in new jersey

I tried for a day and a half to post every day. I did post yesterday and this is a half post. I am no longer posting every day. Have I failed? No. I just made a decision to stop trying.

putting “miss j” out of a job

Announcing the new reality hit, with real actual professional dancers, models and singers. America will love to unwind in front of their TVs watching performers who are trained, polished and experienced, knowing that they don’t have to call or log on to save the budding career of a delusional 20 year old with average talent and huge teeth.

i commando you not to read my blog

It’s true that I studied French for 3 years and I even went to Paris. “french word meaning wearing no underwear” is not a proper search term to use to find this blog.

my friend jason and i wrote a bunch of these pickup lines back in college

“Hey girl. Did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?”

“When they beat you with the ugly stick?”

they are gone the shui of the dinosaur

…feng shui my brother, the essence of groove… please lead us smoothly now into the next era, one without bright red front doors scattered throughout suburbia…rock on