Allie has yet to write the guest blog I wanted her to write. It’s been a while since I asked her, hasn’t it?
So, I like to think she knew that I would post this. Enjoy.
To supplement your declaration of certain words that can no longer be used in Christian media, I would like to add the following excerpt from a recent interview. The interviewee shall remain nameless in a small attempt to preserve his/her dignity.
“I grew up in a family of musicians,” says lead vocalist/rhythm guitarist and Gaither Vocal Band fan [John Doe]. “My mom, brother, sister and I have always sung Southern Gospel songs as the special music in our small Baptist church, and I still sing Southern Gospel on the side. In middle school I was introduced to pop music, which molded my voice more. When I joined [the band], I eventually developed more of a ‘rock voice.’”
“Developed” may be the understatement of the year. [John Doe]’s soaring vocal boldly stands atop a tightly knit four-piece musical bed that seamlessly blends influences like Anberlin, Jimmy Eat World and Foo Fighters. Still writing and rehearsing their songs together in the [hometown church] sanctuary, [the band] hopes its debut CD, produced by [the producer] (Superchick, Stellar Kart, By the Tree), will help the band stretch its wings and take them beyond the borders of the South, and even of the church.
“God has called us to ‘be a light in the darkness,’” [John Doe] notes. “We want to use our music to tell people about Jesus, people who might not hear the conventional way. We make music that could, because of its sound, easily make its way outside the walls of the church. There are so many songs out there portraying so many negative things. We want our music to be played alongside those songs, but we hope to send a positive message of hope and forgiveness to people who are hearing that message less and less.”
[Jim Doe] adds, “My top priority is to see people come to know Jesus because of something they hear in one of our songs or by something we say from stage or whatever platform we have. Just to change lives really. One thing that’s always been in my mind is to change what people think about Christianity and God. Some people view Christians and Christian bands as a joke, and I want to show people that we as Christians are real people living a real life through God and subsequently make them realize what we have is real and what they ultimately are longing for.”
[Brackets] mine.
I would like to declare that anything resembling the previous excerpt is forbidden for use in interviews from this point forward. Anyone who violates this decree will be subjected to public humiliation in front of the audience at multiple Christian music festivals.
Punishments will range in decree of severity as follows:
Minor: Violator will be forced to sing without backing tracks.
Medium: Violator will have to sing multiple songs – from memory – by a number of his/her so-called “musical influences”. (See above article – re: Jimmy Eat World, Foo Fighters)
Severe: Violator will be forced to admit being party to a sex scandal. Said sex scandal will not be allowed to be used as a vehicle for an altar call.
Thank you.
December 12, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Wow, I never knew that about Limp Bizkit. Such a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the band. Thanks for sharing!
So, I’m confused here. Does Allie get royalties from your blog, or you from hers, or what? Care to comment on the percentages?
I’m not going to even ask* what an “altar call” is. It sounds like the source, rather than the solution, for potential sex scandals. Perhaps instead they should call it an “altarcation”.
* And, yet, by saying I’m not going to ask, I’ve implicitly asked. I hate when people do that. Strike that literary device from the record.
December 13, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Most people have a limited understanding of the inspiration behind their favorite entertainers. I’m glad to have provided a glimpse. Please bear in mind that said glimpse would have been much more thoroughly thought out if I had known it would be published. *ahem*
Royalties? Not so much. Suffice it to say that there are “perks”, however. Sarah, you know what I’m talkin’ bout.
Alter calls just take advantage of the emotional high and/or guilt that flows through the air after a religious service. It’s almost like a drugged state, and then you wake up panicked the next day and think, “What did I do??”
December 13, 2007 at 2:36 pm
If by “perks” you mean, I come over to your house and head straight for the liquor cobinet, and make you put on the AbFab that you DVR’d for me, then go get Zaxby’s, then come back and sit on your couch for an hour, then abruptly leave because it’s late, you’re right, I do know what you mean.
December 13, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Like I said, you know what I’m talkin’ bout. I’m hoping those perks will soon extend to that decluttering session which was previously discussed. Then maybe I’ll let you watch the Rufus Wainwright I DVR’d for you. On the newly relocated couch. In the newly carpeted living room.
Also, I am perplexed by the plural of “hiatus”. My research tells me that I should go with “hiatus” or “hiatuses”, but I’m compelled to consider hiati (hiatii?) as an option. Why does the English language hate me so???
Also, also, should I be concerned that no one else has commented on my guest entry? I don’t want to seem like a comment whore, but, well, I am. Feedback is my life. Affirmation is like air to me. So now I’m becoming paranoid that my words aren’t up to par and I’ve developed a nervous tic. Sad, I know.